Parents: We know you want the absolute best for your baby, and it is always our desire to provide you with the safest and happiest babywearing experience.
Which is why we must, from the bottom of our babywearing hearts, implore you:
Please, please, PLEASE – Do not wear your baby in space.
Not convinced? Here are 7 compelling reasons why off-planet babywearing is simply a downright terrible idea.
- Anti-gravity situations do not provide adequate support for babies' legs. While there will certainly be reduced strain on joints, those little legs will be untethered by gravity, and therefore able to flop around aimlessly. Those suckers could wind up anywhere. Legs anywhere = never a good idea.
- Additionally, a lack of gravity makes it profoundly difficult for the wearer to carry the baby. Have you tried to carry anything while unable to actually put your feet on the ground, or your back against the wall, or your hands in the air like you just don’t care? We thought not. Tell you what – it’s tricky. Just getting you, the baby, and the carrier all together in one place is a hot mess.
- Wearing in space is pretty much guaranteed to overstimulate baby. And you. And everyone else, because “HOLY ASTEROIDS BATMAN THERE IS A HUMAN WEARING A BABY IN SPACE.”
- Space chafing. The struggle is real.
- Babywearing in space places you and your baby in the position to experience all kinds of highly unpredictable obstacles, such as, ya know, black holes, space donuts, and that adorably terrifying Moofia. Have you heard about black holes? Those things are scary.
- Center of gravity? WHAT CENTER OF GRAVITY? THERE IS NO GRAVITY!!!! Because SPACE!
- Oxygen is a crucial component to safe, healthy babywearing. As a general rule, we advise you to remember: If I wouldn't be able to breathe while doing it, I probably shouldn't do it while wearing my baby.
Darlings, lovelies, friends - wear those babies. Wear them all over the world. But keep it earth side.
Unless you have a TARDIS. In which case, well, "Allons y!"
This post is all in good fun, meant for fun, because fun is good. We encourage you to practice safe and informed babywearing, even if you plan to stay on the planet. TICKS and your local BWI group meetings are excellent places to start getting an education!