LÍLLÉ Love Letters - Esther on "Lucky"
by Esther
Never in my life did I think I would utter the following words: “I’m lucky to have infertility.” Even so, it’s true. I feel lucky that what seemed like the end of the world led us to you, MacMillan.
Your life is the light at the end of a long and dark tunnel. Your father and I wanted so badly to start a family. We dreamed about what our lives would be like once we had a child. The dream was halted by reality and finally, we felt led to adopt. The adoption process seemed impossible when we first started, but step-by-step we moved forward.
While we were praying and hoping for a child, your birth mom was praying and hoping for a family that would raise her son and let her share in his life. She chose us. When we got the call, I never felt so lucky in my whole life. When we met with her, she asked me to be in the delivery room when you were born. She also invited us to see you on a sonogram at a local pregnancy center.
Your father and I loved you from the first moment we heard your tiny heart beating. We saw your little profile, and we loved your birth mom so much for her bravery and selflessness. Her love for you is amazing.
You grew big and strong inside your birth mother. I was able to go to her doctor’s appointments with her to see your little face on the sonogram many times, and we shared in our love for you. The friendship we share and the bond we feel as mothers to you is something I never imagined, but I’m so thankful for. We’re both so lucky that God gave us you for a son.
The day you were born changed our world. Your birth mom allowed me to be the first one to hold you. I told you, “You have two moms who love you very much.” Your birth mom gave you the name your father and I picked out years ago. We love family names, and the name MacMillan was your father’s great-grandfather’s last name. He was man of integrity, and we hope you will be like him.
We took you home on a day that was full of mixed emotions. We all prayed over you there in that hospital room. Your birth mom, your Mimi and Papa, our adoption agent, attorney, your father and I all gave thanks to the Lord for you. We prayed for your life and for the relationships you would have with your families. You were everyone’s focus and everything we did was for you.
We arrived at home and were greeted by your aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. Everyone was excited and your cousins told me how they were going to teach you to play cars. They’ve definitely fulfilled that promise.
When the time came four months later to see your birth mom and family again, we were nervous but excited. We had talked and shared with them in those months, but we’d taken time to become our family unit and they’d taken the time to deal with their emotions of letting you go. They were so excited to see you and hold you. Your brother got to meet you for the first time. After that it became clear to me how lucky we are to have them as part of our family. We’ve celebrated your birthdays, Mother’s day, and other holidays with them as part of our family.
Since you were born, people have told me how lucky you are to be adopted by us. What they don’t understand is that God brought us together with your birth mom so that we could all be lucky enough to call you our son.
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